i don’t question her unless i feel compelled to, and its up to her how she wants to answer it. if its too vague i guess she just wants me to stay out of it, i would ask her to tell me more, because i don’t want to just be in the dark, i dont care how much the truth hurts, but its better than lying about it and holding away from me. i mean every relationship has tests, thats what they call the “bumps” in the relationship. i can understand where you’re coming from, but the answer is no.
we know the risks of a long distance relationships, and there’s always the “what if” questions that people give. those thoughts never cross my mind, i may get jealous when she’s with other guys, a bit troubled when she sounds like she’s having more fun with them then she doesn with me, and a bit pissed when she’s such a friendly girl with guys. but you know what, i try not to really care. i chose to trust her and she chose to trust me. i believe that she wouldn’t do it and she believes the same for me. and even if she does breakup / cheat it would be partially my fault because i didn’t keep her by me well enough, or she just got bored of me, or trust started breaking because one side just kinda stopped caring or putting in as much effort as they used to. and if there’s something that bothers me ill talk to her, and its up to her whether or not she wants to listen. i trust her that she’ll listen and if she didn’t hear it she shouldn’t feel guilty, its not her fault she didn’t hear it. but if she decided to ignore it till it escalated something’s not right here. i trust her with my life. i honestly mean that. if i gave her a gun with one bullet aimed at my head, i bet you she would dis arm that shit with a round house kick.
i usually don’t answer these questions but even if she does cheat i’ll forgive her, i’ll forgive her as many times it takes. i love her so much in willing to take on that pain no matter how unbearable it is. i will be devoted to her, because no matter what i do, i will always love her, i will always care for her, i will pressure her into telling me what she hides deep down in her heart, i will NEVER give up on this girl.
its like every second, minute, hour, and day seems to go by slower. and every time i check my phone i see no missed call from you, but instead all i see is my reflection, my face showing that i’m just missing you. i just want to hear the sound of your voice, your laugh, your smile, just you. i go onto skype only to see you offline. i’m sorry if you’re busy, but i just really…miss you. i just wonder when you’ll notice.
nobody ever says “help me” because they are afraid, they’re too broken to say anything. There are always signs that they show that they hope someone will notice and actually try to save them. but for most people, we sit here and we wait. we wait to be rescued, we wait to be noticed, we wait for that one person to come help and save us. i just wish that you actually remembered your promise “ill be there for you”. i did wait for you. but here’s the sad part. what if they never notice the signs…and what if its too late? what if…they never come back.
Today is my 17th birthday, and I’m here crying with my girlfriend. illl write a long post later. for now, here is a gif from me to val :)
